about envy and feelings of smallness

This is the first guest post in the we are all a little fragile sequence. It is written anonymously, and I haven’t changed a thing to it. I hope you like it. And if you are interested in writing a guest post yourself for the ‘we are all a little fragile” series, just let me know in the comments (can me anonymous as long as your e-mail is valid so I can contact you). 

what terrifies me most is how we

foam at the mouth with envy

when others succeed

but sigh in relief

when they are failing

our struggle to

celebrate each other is

what’s proven most difficult

in being human

– Rupi Kaur

I have been in both positions, as the one with envy and as the envied. Honestly, I don’t know which of the two has made me feel smallest. Somehow we tend to compare, sometimes to the point that we can’t just enjoy someone else’s victories. I have times that I feel my validation comes from being ‘better’ at something than others. But when I see improvement, it can slap me in the face. I can get struck by the fear to actually succeed, however silly this might seem, because it is easy to fall short to the expectations of others. Also, maybe even sillier, I don’t want people around me to feel small because of me. So… I’m clearly still learning to focus on enjoying and improving in things I do simply because I like them. And then to make sure I can turn that face-slap into an way of encouragement for others as I know they can do the same as me.


So what I would like to add, is that it is definitely something I can relate to, and I think most persons can. I try to be happy when others succeed and not envy them. I try to use it more as an inspiration. But even lately, I found myself being sad for not being as good as others when I thought to be more experienced. I don’t really get angry with others, mostly just a bit disappointing in myself. But I try to shift this negative point of view. For some people some things just come easier, and we don’t all have the same starting point. However I think it is better to see it as a motivation. Life is not a competition. I also think it is really important to celebrate your victories, you worked for it, and you are allowed to celebrate it. It shouldn’t make others feel small, even if it does happen some time. Just remember to celebrate your victories and if someone gets sad about it, try to talk to them. If we celebrate our victories it should be good. Maybe you’re not the best, then celebrate what you learn, the way you grew. It doesn’t mean you failed, be proud that you even tried!

What do you think?


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