The last couple of weeks I realized a couple of things.
1. I’m not as happy as I want to be.
2. I know that circumstances haven’t been great but I need to stop letting it influence my happiness.
3. I need to change my life.
There is a huge amount of food spillage. The waste is immense and in order to be a part of the solution, Amsterdam offers an amazing option. It is a really awesome idea, however not many people know about it. I recently learned about it, and I wish I knew about it sooner. There is an organization called BuurtBuik. What they do is they collect food that is still good but would otherwise be thrown away. And with that food they make a delicious menu, which they serve for free. Buurtbuik works with volunteers and is a non-profit project. When I first heard about it from my mom, I thought it was only for the people in the direct neighborhood or for people who have less to spend. However that’s not the case. I have only been there once in the location in Amsterdam zuid. On their website buurtbuik they have more information about the locations and the time and dates at which each location offers food. It is all in Dutch but I think it’s quite clear and with google translate I expect it is easy to understand for English speakers. It is however not a tourist spot, it is meant for people that live in the area. The reason I still want to write it in English, is because I really love the idea and I think it would be great if more cities could join this or could start their own version!
I don’t want to write a cheesy love story down. I found my soulmate, my love, last year. It’s strange how good we connected and grew as a couple and as people. And even though you can never be certain, I feel so in love and loved, and I can only be truly grateful for being together.
The thing is, I always was or at least felt a bit different. In the sense that I had a very bad self esteem and I could never imagine anyone liking me. I went through many years filled with mostly anxiety and never really felt good and confident. Do not get me wrong here, in those years I did many things that I liked and my days were mostly filled with joy. I somehow always managed and found people with whom I connected and with whom I felt like I could really be myself. Hi Noëlle and Asmara <3 But internally I was also struggling with anxiety, I was very shy and a total anti-social introvert. I had totally accepted being forever alone.
I thought i had a good outlook on the time. But last minute I remembered that the road was still closed so I had to take a little detour. And it was also still cold en not every path would be free of snow, another couple extra minutes. So I still ended up hurrying a bit. Running late as I always seem to do, I still took time to check the mailbox. And on top of unwanted mail there was one letter, addressed to me. First person who I could think of sending me a Christmas letter did not match the handwriting, although the writing looked familiar. Half busy getting my bike i inspected the envelope a bit better and identified the sender. A big smile appeared on my face but I reminded myself I was in a hurry. In a millisecond I decided to put the card in my jacket and open it at my destination.
There we were together. Walking trough the cold. One hand holding our board the other holding each other. Even though the weather was freezing, your hand was still warm. You let go of my hand. Klamme handjes, you said. I took your hand in mine again. I quite like it, I said, it feels warm and trusted. But only from you. And we both smiled.