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Prison gates of porcelain

The salty oceans are finding its way past the open cave. The big slimy monster crawls out and gulfs up a wave. Then the monster hides again, behind the prison gates of porcelain. Only when the next tide arrives, it dares to escape. The monster seems to have made a mistake, for it is holding on to the gate even though they are open for escape. The belly of the monster goes up and down until the lights go out and the monster hits the cushioned walls.

A short story by me, open for your own interpretation.

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VJB visit

I thought i had a good outlook on the time. But last minute I remembered that the road was still closed so I had to take a little detour. And it was also still cold en not every path would be free of snow, another couple extra minutes. So I still ended up hurrying a bit. Running late as I always seem to do, I still took time to check the mailbox. And on top of unwanted mail there was one letter, addressed to me. First person who I could think of sending me a Christmas letter did not match the handwriting, although the writing looked familiar. Half busy getting my bike i inspected the envelope a bit better and identified the sender. A big smile appeared on my face but I reminded myself I was in a hurry. In a millisecond I decided to put the card in my jacket and open it at my destination.

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Me on bad days

As everyone I have days that are just bad days. Sometimes I write on those days. I like writing a lot.

Reading what i wrote can be really painful, sometimes the feeling i had while writing comes flashing back. I want to share one short piece of text i wrote. It’s about the reason I don’t deserve to feel better.

 I am not sure I deserve anything at all. The thing that makes me ‘deserve’ anything is that for all I envy I suffer at least twice as much.

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we are all a little fragile

i believe most, possibly everyone has a story, a beautiful story. And for many years i had the idea of somehow bringing those stories together. Whether i would interview people, or share their stories in a different way. I was sure about one thing; the obstacles of life, the hard times, every struggle we have gone through. They have helped shape us to who we are now.

So now i have the idea of using my blog as a sort of platform where these stories can be told, shared and loved. Because we all go through some shitty things, but we are never alone. We can share stories, nourish love and grow as persons.

I want stories written with a certain quality, not so much in the text but mostly in the underlying message it gives of. And i want my blog to be inspiring and positive. As i said we are never alone, and i really believe that by sharing, we can all benefit.

I always loved writing about the unspoken subjects, taboos and things that make us vulnerable. I haven’t always had the guts to share what i write. But as i grow as a person, i find it easier to talk about topics that are close to me. Things i wish i knew and words that we all need to hear sometimes.

But this goes way beyond me. So it got me thinking, why don’t i introduce some guest writers. Non-commercial, love-based sharing of stories.

I want to start it small by asking my friends and family, from there depending on how that goes, who knows to what it will lead. Maybe one day it will grow to a platform where everyone can share stories. Quality written stories told from the hearth.

I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this, and i am happy to say that the first guest post will be up within next week! And if you are open to share your story, either anonymously or not, please let me know as well and maybe we can work something out!

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Growing (+some mumblings about my vacation)

I see the chance for growth. The work it will cost doesn’t matter, somehow the work and all the effort will be worth it. I will be worth it.

There are moments where I feel egocentric, for setting goals and focusing on me. But as I once wrote, by growing and trying to work to be the best I can be, I might inspire others. I might one day become a person who makes others feel how they deserve to feel.

That’s not too bad is it?

It’s important to have self-worth, self love. To feel good and to be happy.

When I feel good, I feel like I can give so much more. In sense of energy but also in the sense of actions.

As for now it’s time for a vacation. For me it means spending hours doing very little, including reading and making a long summer to-do list, and then mixing it with doing as much as possible and seeing as much lovely people as I can fit in my schedule. This year my vacation starts a month later, and unfortunately it should have started today. Yup that’s right, should have. I am hoping to prolong it by just one week but then again, I also want to start a new experiment based on the results from this week. And writing a report costs me more time and effort then I always imagine. I can’t really start and then I start and everything feels crappy. Whaaah, lots of stuff, many things on my mind. BUT weirdly enough, even though I can’t wait to finish my report. I don’t want to leave my internship. The place is filled with good energy and has slowly become like a second fourth? (I lost count) home to me. The work I do makes me happy, and the idea that my future job makes me happy, makes me even happier.

Love and peace!

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